Transitions

On the eve of my daughter’s 18th birthday, I went with Sarah Howes and Jan Brown to visit Caye Inglis. We had been told that she may have only days to live. On the drive there, I thought about how Caye had contacted the Club a couple of years ago when she and her husband were planning their move from Oregon and she just had to have a tennis membership. At the time we had a waiting list and I wondered about this 80+ year old who was so intent on becoming a member. When I met Caye, I began to understand what a force she was. With a smile that would light up the room and a grace of presence that we should all emulate, she was a fierce competitor on the court. She made friends quickly as our members were drawn to her. She and Joyce Vanderpol won their age bracket in the Senior Games Women’s Doubles Division just last October.

Caye was at her daughter’s house, resting in a bed aptly overlooking the tennis court at Lake Padden. She was well taken care of by her family who, I could tell, surrounded her with love and caring. They said she really had to see her tennis friends one more time. Sarah and Jan regaled stories of playing with and against Caye, and her beautiful smile and mischievous eyes would sparkle as she acknowledged those good times. I expect we will feel her presence here, as well as other wonderful members who have passed, as time goes on. I could feel that Caye was blessed by a rich life, many experiences, and wonderful relationships.

I mentioned this was the eve of my daughter’s 18th birthday because I have been coming to terms with the transition of my role in mothering my daughter. What happened to that baby wailing in my arms? There is a line in a song by Crosby Stills & Nash that says “Teach your children well”…and I hope that I have done just that. As I think back, of course there is this or that that could have been done differently. But as my husband says, we did the best we could and demonstrated our love to each other and to our kids. All parents know how challenging raising your child can be and I just hope to the heavens above that I have given her all the tools she will need as she finds her own way in this world. The biggest part of my job as “mom” for her has come to a....transition.

On this eve of launching my daughter as an adult, I find myself reflecting on the juxtaposition of these two events; Caye with a rich and wonderful life behind her and my daughter with so much ahead of her. I hope that my daughter (and really, for all of my friends and acquaintances) will have the chance to live life, love life, and have a long and fulfilling life with many travels, adventure, relationships, and happiness so that when she gets to Caye’s age, her family and friends can still see the mischievous sparkle in her eyes.

Caye Inglis passed away on August 17th, 2009

Elena is happily attending a small college in California

I am working on making the transitions.

Sincerely, Robin Robertson